February 12 2017
Got up around 7, got ready and did my hair! Went to church at 8:45. Church was good, Pastor Abe Harder did it. He is going to go through the church’s statement of faith, one point at a time, today was about God. After church I went home to get my stuff, then I walked over to Anne and Diedrichs. I made some coffee, and got comfy:) I pinterested, figuring out things for school tomorrow! Started looking forward to it. Still a bit scary but hopefully it’ll be good! Went home around 3, made an iced coffee and talked to family on the phone for about an hour 🙂 After, I played games on my iPad until almost 6 lol Was very chill but I was just very relaxed:) Around 6 John and Iliana came over and we played many rounds of UNO! It was good, they like picking on me lol it was not my day today! They stayed until about 8, before they left John tried to figure out my phone but its hopeless. After they left I made grilled cheese, ate then started getting ready for bed! I am leaving for the school at 6:30 tomorrow, which means getting up at 5 :o0.

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February 13 2017
HAPPY 11th BIRTHDAY TYLER!!!!:) Today I had my alarm set for 5:00, I rolled over and fell back asleep until almost 6.. oops. My roommate woke me up, knowing I had planned getting up earlier. Got up, quickly got ready, made an egg for breakfast, made coffee, sat outside for a bit, then at 6:30 I headed off to school! I was terrified. Classes all went really well! I only had one conversation class, it didn’t exactly go at all like I planned, but I’m hoping next time will be better:) School was out at 12:30. Went home at about 12:45, made lunch (noodles and beef melanasa) Then hit the hay! I was so tired. Slept until 3, got up, cleaned up a bit, then Iliana came over and we made Iced coffee! It was exactly what I needed. It was +35 today so I needed something cold, and something to wake me up! She stayed until about 4:30, then I worked on a few devotionals, not sure which one to share on Wednesday. I think it will be on Daniel 10. Had leftovers for supper around 7:30, then showered! Now its about time to sleep if I want to get up early again!

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February 14 2017
Happy Valentines Day! ❤ Today I got up about 5:45 (yes I had my alarm set for 5.. yes I turned it off and went back to sleep lol) I got ready, made coffee, then I went outside and had breakfast (peaches) and my coffee:) Sat outside until about 6:45, then I headed off to school! Had my break first period so that was nice! I could do last minute prepping before school 🙂 School was SOO much better today! Yesterday night I felt like a failure when it came to school so I was so scared today would just be a continued process of that. But it was so good. My students were amazing, my grade twos all came and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, it was absolutely the sweetest thing ever ❤ Grade one was a bit more of a challenge, just with them being so young, but it was still good! All of my classes were so good. One of the students I had in grade 4, was so excited to see me. I met her when I went to Ibnias with Bev that day, we had terere at this girls house. She is just the sweetest thing. Today was a long day, which meant I had munch at the school, we had pizza! My afternoon conversation classes went really well! I’m looking forward to getting to know them more, and having them truly trust me. Also, I think the more Spanish I know, the easier it will be for me to connect with many of them ❤ 🙂 School was out at 2:30, I came home, had lunch and played games on my iPad (that’s one of the only ways my mind seems to relax) Then I cleaned up a bit, then made ice coffee and now I’m sitting here, I had planned on doing schoolwork.. but I feel like I need to write.
Here’s where my head’s at… I feel like a failure.. I feel like I shouldn’t be here. I have no desire for anything. I don’t understand why God put me here. I know He has a plan. But some days I feel like I’m almost like, out of His will or something. I don’t feel like I am the right person to have a title such as ‘missionary’. Do I want to spread His word? Yes! Do I want to bring me people to Him? More than anything! But.. me…? I know the enemy is trying to bring me down. In all honesty, I feel like I’m in a battle, God is there, willing and wanting to help, and let me rest, He can see how tired I am. But I feel like I need to prove to Him, to myself and to others that I can do it. What I feel is happening though, is myself becoming so weak that I’m almost just letting the enemy have me. It sounds horrible. I feel like a failure. I question myself and if I’m even a true believer, I feel like a horrible person, not someone that God wants, let alone loves. When it comes to having a personal relationship with Christ, I’m failing. I want to have a good, relationship with our Lord, but I don’t know how. I feel like I’m to far gone… No matter how many times I feel like I’ve overcome it, it always comes back.
Anyway.. after, I actually did some schoolwork, don’t have conversation tomorrow so that’ll give me a nice break! Had supper, showered, then went to Arlie and Evas to drop off a few things from Peru and to sign something. Came home, talked on the phone with Family, and Martin, then hit the hay!

February 15 2017
Today, my alarms didn’t go off, so I only woke up at 6! Woke up to the sound of rain on our tin roof<3 I still had enough time to make an egg and coffee:) Sat outside (like usual) and enjoyed some quiet time, listening to the rain, before work! Went to work at around 7. Work was good today! Only had learning centre classes so it seemed pretty relaxed:) School was done at 12:3o today. Was home shortly before 1:00, ate lunch, and took a nap from 1:30-4:00! My phone was out of credit so after I had a nap and washed the dishes I went to Mrs. Froese and she put more credit on there:) Was nice to walk in the rain:) Came home, and did school prep. I re-did everything I had originally planned to do this bi-mester. I was feeling very overwhelmed and frustrated because I didn’t know how I could teach them things if they can’t understand what I’m saying. Called mom for about 1/2 an hour and she helped me get some fresh ideas:) Worked on that for a while, then had supper around 7:30, I had rice noodles with beef melanasa. After supper just chilled and did more school stuff and talked with Gabi for a bit! Tried Matè today, it was actually really good! I miss having tea.. I’ll have to buy some soon.. although they probably don’t have David’s Tea ;P lol I was just about to jump into the shower when the power went off! So I went to bed. Power went back on around 12:30. Couldn’t fall asleep.. :/

February 16 2017
Got up shortly before 6, got ready, made coffee and had cereal. Sat outside to eat. It was raining pretty good. Sounded amazing. Went to work around 6:45. Work was good! The morning went relatively well. I had the younger grades this morning (grade ones and twos). It went so much better today! A little more organized. Still a bit crazy because they are so young, but all in all, it was good:) My whole day went well! What I had planned now for the grade 6,7, and 8’s went very smooth! Realized where they really were with English, so now I can start at the level where they are at:) It’s a lot different than what I had originally planned but its a lot better for them, and myself:) Lunch tasted really good, had rice & beans with fried chicken! After school, Anne picked me up at home shortly before 3. We went to Pailon to see if my bank card would work there to take out money, it didn’t 😦 Came home, chilled and talked with Gabi for a while, listened to music and played games on my iPad. I made supper, beef with rice noodles, fried onions and cream, tasted SO good:) We bought seasoning this week, it makes everything taste a million times better! Forgot what it was like to have such flavourful food haha:) Then went and bought some apples, grapes, peaches and pineapple from the fruit truck! After, I went to Iliana’s to play some cards 🙂 She attempted flipping an egg, it was great haha:) GUESS WHAT??!! My family and Martin are coming here end of March!!! I am so unreal excited:):) I miss them so much ❤ Came home, then a guy from Carino came to pick up something I brought with from His family member in Alberta. I showered, and now just chilling:) I just can’t get over how great it will be to see everyone ❤

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February 17 2017
Got up at 5:30, got ready, sat outside with my coffee and watched to sun come up:) Iliana texted me shortly after 6 asking if I wanted to come over for banana pancakes! So I went over (with my coffee) and had breakfast there. Tasted so good! Went to school at 7. School went really well today! After school, Iliana and I went with the teacher bus to Pailon, we met John and Whitney there. We went to a food place and we had sopa de monei (peanut soup) I really like it!! After lunch we tried at another bank machine to see if it would work, it didn’t 😦 We walked to Johns house and had terere. We were back home right around 3:00. I cleaned up the house a bit and made supper for myself. Gabi went to Santa Cruz this morning to work on her papers. For supper I made pasta with beef, onions and a tomato/leche sauce! I was pretty impressed with myself haha. Around 7 I went to Ilianas and we played the game ‘’ticket…” with John, and 3 others. I came home around 8:30, Gabi was just back. I had given her one of my debit cards in case she went to a bank machine, and she was able to take out money for me! So excited. Made some tea and relaxed for the remainder of the evening. I hope the wifi guy comes next week. He hasn’t been able to come due to the blockade. I am SOOO tired.. Fell asleep before I actually wanted to.

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February 18 2017
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUZ! Today I slept until 10!! So proud of myself, had like 11 hours of sleep 🙂 Clearly I was tired lol. Saturdays always seem to be my favourite because I get to post my blog.. haha it’s weird but I look forward to posting my life apparently. No, it just makes me feel like I’m able to sit down and have coffee with you and talk.. it’s strange.. lol. Made guacamole and toast and iced coffee this morning. Gabi had gone to Pailon this morning, so I just had some quiet time for about an hour. I am doing a lot better spiritually than what I was a few days ago. It’s still a daily battle, but I’m working on letting God fight. It’s stupid that I think I know better than Him, The All-Knowing God. I don’t know why exactly He has called me here, or what I am to do, but I am here for a reason, He will use me. I am so thankful for all of you that send me verses throughout my week.. I truly appreciate it so much ❤ Not sure what my plan is for the rest of the day, might do some baking:)

Prayer Requests:
• That I will be who my students need me to be
• My personal relationship with God
• Health
• Language barrier***
• To truly let Jesus’ love and light shine through me
• To focus on God and make Him number 1 above all else
• For friendships that are forming
• Homesickness
• For my family and friends
• That I will have the patience and wisdom to teach what needs to be taught

***My whatsapp number is +591 70280684.

Thank you everyone,
all my love,
Joanna ❤

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