The Bible often connects waiting with faith. Try as we may to make time pass quicker, waiting serves an important role in our Christian life. The work God does within us while we wait is just as important as whatever it is we’re waiting for. Of course, the waiting is difficult – sometimes painful.
February 18 2017 – Saturday
“Let all you do, be done in love.” 1 Corinthians 16:14
Ate lunch around 12, had leftovers from what I made yesterday! Then I cleaned out and organized the fridge and showered at got ready. Went to Ilianas around 1:30, did my nails! Shortly after 2 I went with Anne to Ibnias. She went to weigh some small babies, SO cute! The first one was at the Ibnias store and I bought myself a yerba cup! 😀 I even made it match into our house at home (home-home) (cow blanket and cow chairs) haha. Went to three different places to weigh babies. Before we went to the last place, we stopped in at a place to buy cheese! The lady invited us in for coffee 🙂 Was back home around 3:30. Talked on the phone for a while, then went to Ilianas! John arrived shortly after I was there. We made London Fog Lattes and played a few rounds of golf (the card game)! While we were playing, Eva came over to tell us there was a coral snake in Ilianas backyard and she should probably keep her dog away from there. We went out and John killed it! After we went back inside and continued playing game. I stayed there for super. Went home around 7, I was home alone, so I made peach cobbler and cleaned up a bit! Then I watched the German Skit, ate peach cobbler and had tea. It was nice and relaxing:) Really missing my people. I GET TO SEE THEM IN 40 DAYS!!!! They booked tickets today! I’m so excited ❤ ❤ ❤
February 19 2017 – Sunday
“He must increase, I must decrease.” John 3:30
39 DAYS! ❤ Today I got up around 8, didn’t go to church this morning. I wasn’t feeling very good and had a headache. So I just chilled a bit. Then around 10 I went to Anne & Diedrichs to use their wifi. I was there for a little while when they came home from church. Isaac Buhler and a couple (Tommy & Juliana Kehler) came there as well. Anne invited me for lunch, so I have lunch with Anne & Diedrich and the couple. We had burgers! Felt like a mom-cooked meal, had to savour every bite:) After lunch I went back outside to do some school stuff. The couple left shortly after lunch and Diedrich and Anne went for a nap. I stayed there for a little while longer. Around 1:15 I went back home and around 1:30 Trudy Friessen picked me up to go to La Roca. (Bev had messaged me earlier in the day to see if I wanted to go there, she arranged the ride for me) So I went there! There were a ton of people!! I met so many new people. There was one girl who really stood out to me. She had just left the colony on Sunday. As I was almost home, Anne messaged me to see if I wanted to come over to play game! So I walk over in the rain, (it was raining most of the day today) it was amazing! Smells so fresh. Anne and I played Phase 10, she won 😦 lol, and we had pie! Just as we were done our game, Trudy Buhler and that girl that I met at La Roca came over. We played another round of Phase 10! I left around 8, because I was just so tired and needed some time to mentally prepare for school tomorrow. So I came home, made a sandwich and now writing this haha. Gonna jump in the shower and hit the hay!
February 20 2017- Monday
“Be strong and couragous.” Joshua 1:9
38 DAYS!!!! Happy Family Day!! Woke up this morning and felt horrible. I felt nauseous, I had a migraine headache, felt dizzy and weak, and all my muscles ached. I think I peopled to hard, so this week I plan on being very relaxed. I finally got myself out of bed shortly after 6. Didn’t make coffee or breakfast this morning. Just got ready and sat outside for a bit. Walked to work shortly before 7. Had grade 11/12’s first thing, then grade 8’s after. Then it was time for my break. Does anyone know any good remedies or anything for wisdom teeth? I often wake up in the middle of the night because of the pain. Mine are those that always come in and out. The pain is starting to drive be crazy. I don’t know if getting them removed would be a good idea? Today I just feel done. Done with people, done with the distance.. There was even a moment this morning where I was so set and determined that I would not do another year here.. not at the school anyway. I can picture myself living here, like in Bolivia.. but not so sure about the school.. unless I went to Spanish school.. then maybe… I dunno.. I don’t know if this is the place for me.. I know Bolivia is.. not sure if the school is though.. it feels pointless.. I kinda NEED to know Spanish.. I’m not really connecting with anyone because of the language barrier.. I so badly need to and want to set time aside for me and God, but whenever I do.. I just.. I dunno.. it’s like my mind refuses to let me go there.. I hate it. I want to.. but it feels like there’s something blocking me from being able to… it confuses me. I sit down, open my Bible and just nothing. I can’t be vulnerable.. I don’t, or can’t, let myself feel these feelings that I know I need to feel in order to move forward spiritually.. Next week Monday and Tuesday are no school so I am SOO excited to have a little break. I hope I get Wi-Fi soon. I honestly think that will make me feel so much better and make things so much easier. I could focus on prepping for school without feeling rushed and pressured because I’m using up all my data on my phone, I can do it in the comfort of my own home, I can talk to family and friends more and have better service, I can listen to new music.. I just think it will help a lot. But it sounds like the guy won’t come until first or second week in March.. 😦 After school was done, I still wasn’t feeling much better, came home, had lunch and tried to sleep. I just couldn’t sleep, so after about an hour of trying I talked on the phone for a while then got up and went to Ilianas for London Fog and a few rounds of golf! Came home around 6, got a new table from Arlie and Eva so worked on setting up our house so it worked. Then I made supper and worked on school prep! I don’t know how I’m feeling about anything.. I miss my life… I miss cruising, I miss going for coffee, I miss having my family around me… It’s hard. What I miss most of all, is just having fellowship.. I feel like I can’t do that here. It’s not because of the people, it’s because of me… I don’t know..
February 21 2017 – Tuesday
“Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares.” 1 Peter 5:7
37 DAYS!!! Woke up this morning and pretty much couldn’t talk. My throat hurt so badly. Went to work around 6:30, had my free period first thing so that was nice! I wasn’t feeling all that great all day but managed to make it through! School was done at 2:30, but then we had a meeting from 2:3o-6! It was a long day! The meeting was cut short due to a man in the community passed away this afternoon. Came home, ate supper (I just had leftovers from lunch today) and talked on the phone with a few people from home. Found out the Wi-Fi guy is coming tomorrow! I’m so excited. Also, I don’t need to go to school tomorrow because I’m leaving for Santa Cruz super early to get started on my paperwork! I’m honestly really looking forward to a day off. Even though I’m sure tomorrow will be a long day as well. I am feeling so drained. With being sick, my wisdom tooth, being around people 24/7 and not knowing the language it just makes it all seem like a lot. I like these kids, I love my students. It’s just hard with the language… I feel like I can’t be who they need me to be, or even who I need me to be. I just am standing in one place turning in circles not sure where to go or whats happening. Only a matter of time where I’ll get to dizzy and plop onto the floor “plumps.” Today I would just love to take a bubble bath with some candles, while listening to quiet relaxing music, then journal and watch Netflix and have tea with the family in the living room. Man I would love that right about now… ❤ Hopefully everything works well with my papers tomorrow.. I want to go to sleep earlier, but I also know I’ll just think once I’m in bed. It’s so annoying. But I ended up turning on my hotspot for a bit and watched an episode of Fresh Prince, made me feel like I was at home with Rissa ❤ I kinda miss her. It’s just been a hard 2 weeks.. like very hard. I feel bad talking to people, because it feels like I’m just complaining and I don’t want to be that person, (sorry guys). I know there is a purpose in all of this, it’s just feeling pretty dark right now and I feel very alone and scared. I’ve always had my people to lean on, and now I don’t. I know they are still there, but it’s different being this far away from them. It’s just really stretching me. I’m so far out of my comfort zone. Every time I think I couldn’t stretch more, I double it and stretch even more. It gets uncomfortable.. not just like praying out loud in front of many people uncomfortable, (which was out of my comfort zone and hard for me to do already at home) but I mean really, truly, hurting, in pain uncomfortable. I realize I need to cry out to Jesus. More and more. Louder and louder. I feel like I can’t take it. All this molding. I feel like I’m being re-created in a way. I realize that it’s a good thing and God is working.. it just hurts. I feel weary, tired, alone, in pain, lost, very broken.
February 22 2017 – Wednesday
“Do not worry about tomorrow.” Matthew 6:34
36 DAYS!!! Got up at 5, got ready, was ready by 5:30. Couldn’t eat or drink anything this morning. We wanted to leave at 5:30, but only left shortly after 6. Arlie and I went to Santa Cruz to start my visa process. One little thing I realized on the way is, Bolivian pee cups are not really sealable lol.. Got to Santa Cruz shortly after 7. Met a guy and he took us to a clinic, I had to do bloodwork, and x-ray and answer many medical questions. Then went to a lawyer lady to sign some papers, then took pictures at a nearby place for my visa, went back to the lawyer lady, then went to a different lawyer place to sign more papers and do fingerprints. I have no idea what I signed but hey hopefully it works lol. After the prints and things we stopped at a little place to eat breakfast, I had a saltena 🙂 Took a bus to the place where we parked the vehicle. Then he dropped me off at the place where taxis go to and from Santa Cruz and Pailon (trophies). I hopped in and was gone to Pailon! I fell asleep on the way and when I woke up I was sure I was headed somewhere else than Pailon! I was so confused as to where I was, so I just went back to sleep lol The girl beside me was using me as a pillow.. at least she felt safe enough to do that lol Got home around 12, Diedrich and the Wi-Fi guy were just finishing up and I now have Wi-Fi!! So thankful 🙂 When they left I had a few crackers and salsa, watched an episode on Netflix and snoozed for a while! Woke up shortly after 4. Did some school prep (or tried) and had tea (my cold just isn’t leaving). Around 5 I started making supper. I made Pasta with chicken, onions, corn and cream, it tasted amazing, also make a piña colada smoothie! 🙂 After supper, I cleaned up and then pinterested and tried to figure out more for school. It wasn’t working… I don’t know any games I can use to teach them english.. After that, I journaled a bit and listened to music. It was nice and relaxing:) Tomorrow there is only school until 11:50 because there is a funeral after lunch. I don’t know if I should go or not.. I want to be there for the family.. but I don’t know them.. I don’t know. Chilled in the living room for a while looking through pictures and old messages ❤
February 23 2017 – Thursday
“The Lord will fight, you only need to be still.” Exodus 14:14
35 DAYS!! Got up at 6, slept through all of my alarms!! Made tea and sat outside and listened to a short sermon. Went to work around 6:45. My whole morning just seemed to go so nicely. Still a few bumps here and there but still a really good day. School was out at 11:50 due to the funeral. So I came home, heated up the leftovers and had lunch! Then I cleaned up and put on some music and pinterested.. I know it sounds like all I do, but looking at verses and quotes and devotionals on there just really helps me so, so, so much. I finally feel at peace a bit more ❤ So whoever you are that’s praying for me, just know it’s making a huge difference ❤ Chilled for a while, then Iliana came over for a bit. While she was here a Gabi came home with a few others. They sat outside. After Iliana left, I had quite a bit of energy, so I made chocolate chip cookies (actually baton bar cookies (I don’t have chocolate chips)). I offered some to those that were here and sat outside with them:) They stayed until about 5:00. It went really well, I prefer meeting people like that, not so much pressure 🙂 Then I came inside, ate leftovers for supper and just kinda sat here feeling very overwhelmed. Life seems a bit overwhelming.. I’m just tired I think. Around 7 Anne texted me to see what I was up to and if I’d like to come over, she didn’t have to ask twice and I was there. I just really need ‘mom’ time. I miss my family so, so much. When I got to Anne & Diedrich we sat, had coffee, and talked for a while then we played Skip-Bo! Just as we had started playing a couple from here in Villa Nueva stopped in there with their 2 children. So us ladies played the game while the men were outside and the children were looking at an old christmas catalogue. As they were looking at the catalogue, I watched them, I felt the joy with them, just felt like a kid again. The excitement. Seeing all the things that I could possibly play with. Knowing it’s not reality to have it all, but still getting excitement from knowing how fun it would be! That just made me so happy. I have kinda been feeling like everything is out of reach for me, not reality. I can still find joy in knowing that it will all be good, that there is still excitement in life even though it may not be exactly be right this moment, or how I would like it to be right now. I stayed there until around 10 then I walked home. As I got home I had a shower and got ready for bed. As I was on the phone with Martin, a lizard this shows up it my room again! I think it’s still the same lizard from the first week here, but my, how he has grown! 😮 I nearly peed my pants, this one was about double the size of the ones I’d seen in here until now. He kept coming closer and closer to me.. finally he went back behind my curtain.. I think he’s giving there with his whole herd.. I’m to scared to look lol
February 24 2017 – Friday
“The Lord will guide you continually,
And satisfy your soul in drought,
And strengthen your bones;
You shall be like a watered garden,
And like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.” Isaiah 58:11
34 DAYS!!! Got up shortly before 6 today. Iliana texted me to let me know she wouldn’t be in classes today because she wasn’t feeling well. I got ready, made eggs and a coffee and sat and relaxed a while. I went to the school around 6:45 and got prepared. School today was… well.. it could’ve gone a whole lot better. When I got home around 1:30, (we had a meeting after school (don’t ask me what about)) I made pizza and was going to eat, I took maybe 3 bites and I couldn’t anymore, eating just needed way to much energy. So I put my food in the fridge and was in bed before 2:00. I think I fell asleep before my head hit the pillow! I slept until shortly after 4, I woke up not knowing where I was.. hadn’t had that feeling here, before I was fully awake, I was thinking of texting mom to see if she was having coffee upstairs, then I realized I’m not home.. haha. I clearly miss her a lot ❤ ❤ I got up, ate the rest of my lunch, and chilled a while:) Diedrich came over and sprayed our yard with some chemicals. We have had ticks on our yard since we got here and now this is supposed to help so hopefully:) I am so so SO thankful for Anne and Diedrich. I honestly don’t know if I could have made it through some of these days without them. They are so kind, loving and so caring. I appreciate them so much ❤ When Mrs. Kehler passed away, I wanted to change my mind about coming. Honestly, …I was mad at God. I couldn’t understand why He would do this.. The Kehlers were the only people I knew here, and now I’d have no one. Mrs. Kehler said that she would be my ‘mother’ here, and take me under her wing. I was relying on her… my parents were relying on her. And now, I would have no one. I couldn’t understand, why would God do this? I got very bitter… I still don’t understand why it had to happen, but I do know, that God will not forsake me. Although Mrs. Kehler is not here to help me, God provided. God always provides. I am so thankful that God has placed me where I am, amongst all these people who care and are here for me. Around 6 I started making supper, I made mashed potatoes, shmount-fat and burgers! I enjoy making food so much.. makes me feel like I’m at home 🙂 (I make enough food to be at home, I guess that’s what will happen when you grow up in a bigger family haha) Now I’m sitting here and writing this and I’m craving to post this blog now.. So that’s what I’ll do.. lol
• That I will be who my students need me to be
• My personal relationship with God
• Language barrier***
• To truly let Jesus’ love and light shine through me
• To focus on God and make Him number 1 above all else
• For friendships that are forming
• For my family and friends
• Patience, Strength, Love, Compassion & Wisdom
• The girl I met at La Roca that just left the colony
***My whatsapp number is +591 70280684.
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Thank you everyone,
all my love,