“And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
I have had a whole new attitude these last few days. I’d been feeling pressured and brought down by everything it seemed like. I was not myself and people noticed it. But these past few days, I have felt joy again for the first time in a while. Although things be not always seem to work out or be great, I can have joy knowing that each day is still good because God is with us. He has given me a new day and a fresh start every morning:)
The past few days have had many ups and downs.
A couple of days ago I went to Pailon with Anne to get A LOT of food. That seemed to help a lot, just to get out of Villa Nueva for a little while and finally feel more relaxed knowing I can make food again:) (I have come to realize baking and cooking are a great way for me to relax).
But I have also seemed to be very on edge and got irked easily. Whenever anything got a little hard I just kinda locked up everything. I just got caught up in all the things I am unable to do here, like cruising around with Martin, going for coffee with Brad a few times a week, ordering food and chilling with Rissa, breakfast Tuesdays with Nicole, morning coffees with my parents, watching Tyler’s hockey games, late night talks with Kath, games with Janice, pool games at The Centre with Jordan, not seeing my students that I love and miss so dearly.. etc etc ect… I think I just believed the lie that I shouldn’t be having to deal with all of the things I’m struggling with, that God should cut me some slack because I’m here, far away from everything I know, trying. It sounds pathetic. I honestly want God to do whatever is in His will for me, to mold and shape me into the woman of God He has created me to be. No matter how hard or painful it may be right now. I want to be the woman He desires me to be.
Yesterday I was SO nervous because I had to do the devotional again in chapel. I had decided to share my testimony, or a part of it anyway. I felt like I should do it in Plautdeich, but the more I thought about it and tried to figure out the german words, I just got more and more anxious. I got so worked up that I had just decided to do it in English, no matter how discouraging it was that almost none of them would understand me. When I woke up in the morning, my first thought was, I don’t want to go to school. Facing my fear and speaking in front of many people is a big thing for me as it is, and not having most people understand, it just felt pointless. I just kept thinking that I should just stay home. But I kicked myself in the butt and got up. I sat outside and just kinda talked to God, praying for the strength and ok-ness for having them not understand me. I suddenly got a wave of just pure peace wash over me, I decided right there I was going to do it in Plautdeich. I read over it once and walked to school. Chapel was at 7:30, I went up there, a bit nervous, but still at peace. I started talking.. my words were so shaky it probably sounded like I was talking into a fan lol, that what it sounded like in my ears anyway! I didn’t know all the German words but I knew more than I thought. I’m starting to sound quite Bolivian lol:)
I’m realizing more and more how God keeps taking care of me and provides and tends to my needs, in the most perfect way.
I’m just kinda wondering what you guys would like to hear from my blog? Should I do daily write ups and pictures or more-so blogs like this one and the previous one? Let me know 🙂
I could go on for a long time about all sorts of stuff and just ramble on, but I’ll just end with a few verses.
“Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!” Philippians 4:4
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;” Philippians 4:6
“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” Philippians 4:8
“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:2-4
“And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.” Colossians 3:15
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you.” Isaiah 43:2
• My students
• My personal relationship with God
• Language barrier***
• To truly let Jesus’ love and light shine through me
• To focus on God and make Him number 1 above all else
• For friendships that are forming
• For my family and friends
***My whatsapp number is +591 70280684.
Thank you everyone,
all my love,