ok.. so I didn’t really want to write about this.. but I feel like I need to, so here we go..
I’m doing my biopsy today.. I am terrified. I’m trying to be strong.. trying to not let it effect me… but it is. That is all I can think about. Worrying about the ‘what ifs’ like I always do…
Then I read verses like Isaiah 41:13 – “For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” And Psalm 118:6 – “The Lord is on my side; I will not fear…” Then I feel foolish. I know God has a plan, I know HE will help me. He will make a way when it all seems uncertain and dark. I know whatever His will is, it will be good. It may be hard. It may be challenging. I may not understand it… but I don’t need to. I trust our Lord. I know everything is in HIS hands.
It’s hard to not worry. Worry has had such a big part in my life.. I know I need to give it all to God, knowing that He has a plan. A GOOD plan. One that will help me become a better person, a stronger Christian. I know I grow the most in the hard, challenging times. I know that I should learn to depend on HIM and praise HIM even when the storm is over… but why is it so hard?
Anyway, about today, I am going to the doctor around 5pm (3pm at home). I won’t get the results until 10 days later. So if you could pray for the biopsy today it would be greatly appreciated ❤ The lump is smaller today, I hope it will still work so I won’t have to do it twice.
I am scared, people around me are scared.. I wish I did’t have to go through it all because I see how much it worries people around me. I want to be healthy.. strong, for them more than anything.
Love, Joanna ❤