people have been asking.

i’ve been thinking.

here it is.


my time in canada was good.

no,

it was great.

i loved seeing my family.

my friends.

i had missed them so much.

but,

it was a bit overwhelming coming back into that world.

it seems like a completely different life.

i feel like who i was in canada,

before i left,

isn’t me anymore.

at times,

i felt like i had to put on a show.

like i had to pretend to be the person who i am not anymore.

which frustrated me.

coming home,

i wanted to do the things i loved.

or thought i loved.

and i come back,

& many of those things didn’t seem so important anymore.

there were moments of complete bliss & love.

going to the cabin with a dear cousin.

evening of chilling with the sisters & mom,

peters campout,

fellowship on a boat.

living room talks with my family.

spur of the moment granola walks,

it’s those small things.

the unplanned moments.

making memories.

that will stay in my heart forever.

but anyway,

initially, i went to canada because i wanted to get my doctoring stuff started,

so I could do surgery when i came back at christmas.

in case i come back for the following year.

not sure about that yet.

but i had a few appointments and did another ultasound.

i should have more info about that shortly.

but other than that,

my main priority was family.

i had missed them so much.

my family is so important to me.

they are my biggest,

truest,

most loyal,

supporters.

they love me unconditionally.

they have seen me at my complete worst.

yet love me in a way i cannot comprehend.

but even in the midst of it all,

i didn’t feel ‘at home’

which kinda bugged me at first.

this is home.

going into this ministry,

i wanted bolivia only to be a one year thing.

a good experience,

doing something i have always felt i needed do.

not a life altering,

person changing,

mind re-setting,

moving across the world,

away from everything,

everyone,

i knew,

kind of experience.

but it has been.

it took coming to canada for me to see that.

i love canada.

i love la crete.

i love my family & friends.

but i love God more.

and if God wants me to be here,

then i will be here.

i don’t know if it’s just the remainder of this year,

another year,

or my whole life.

but i do know,

that God has placed me here for a reason.

and i’m not ready to leave yet.

 

Joanna ❤

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